The Most Annoying Patient

~ Kook kannan

As doctors, or soon-to-be doctors, we do come across all kinds of patients – from naughty school kids and timid housewives to clueless boomers and arrogant politicians who wouldn’t listen to anyone. But do you know who is the most irritating kind of patient amongst them all? Well, I got to witness the kind a few days back.

He was an unusual patient for an OP at Stanley, to say the least. He was dressed in a neat collared shirt and pants and spoke solely in English, which in itself was an anomaly. Most of the patients here converse in Tamil and the few who don’t are migrant labourers who know nothing but Hindi. Once in a blue moon, we get to hear the broken English of some North Indians. But this man spoke proper English and looked like a pakka native.

After the doctor asked about his chief complaints, their conversation went like this:

Patient: Prescribe Amoxycillin, sir. It's a very good drug.

Doctor: I know it's a good drug. First, elaborate your complaints. For how long have you had this trouble?

Patient: Last year when I had a similar episode, Amoxycillin worked like a charm, sir. It's very efficacious. Just give Amoxycillin.

Doctor: Amoxycillin isn't going to run away anywhere (a bit angry now). First let me diagnose you. Drugs that worked previously won't necessarily work again. And if all you want is amoxycillin, why did you come to a doctor? Go and buy from a pharmacist.

Patient: Drugs outside costs money, sir. Just write Amoxycillin. I'll go.

Doctor: Yov! Are you understanding or not? You are a 70-year-old man with God knows what comorbidities! If I start prescribing you all the drugs in the world, you'll end up with a failed liver and kidneys. Is that what you want?!

 

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Patient: But amoxycillin…

Enraged, the doctor prescribed whatever he asked for and sent him off cursing. Was Amoxycillin the right drug? Might be or might not be. But I never imagined the patient who would make the angriest doctor I had ever seen would be one pestering for amoxycillin of all things.

What kind of patients irk the doctors the most?

Literate ones who believe they’ve got it all figured out and come to doctors just to get the drugs they’ve prescribed for themselves.