Love and Logistics

~ Kook kannan

It is no news that love marriages are becoming increasingly common in India. According to a report by WeddingWire India, arranged marriages have seen a 24% drop from 2020. But I have observed that, amusingly, more and more younger siblings are getting permission, sometimes even encouragement, to opt for love marriages. All at the expense of their elder siblings.

I’m seeing this with a lot of my friends and family. Younger siblings whose parents had been historically very harsh about the love affairs of their children, who had even broken up their previous relationships creating so much drama, have suddenly loosened up and announced, "If you’re in a relationship or anything, go ahead. We got no objections."

So, what happened?

Logistics happened. They started looking for brides or grooms for their elder siblings.


And they realized how hard it is to 
arrange a marriage in the modern world. Sure, their daughter might say ‘no’ to any guy they disagree with, but she is not saying ‘yes’ to anyone they agree with either. She might not be strong enough to go against them for a marriage but she will definitely not go into a marriage for them.

Parents have this weird imagination that their children will be drowning under boyfriends and girlfriends if they don’t interfere. But relationships are hard to maintain per se. Add your overbearing, totalitarian parents to the mix, it becomes near impossible. Since their parents end up increasing the cons of any potential relationship they might get into, we can often see young men and women passing up opportunities they come across too.

The wants and needs of a marriage have increased enormously in the last few decades. Compatibility and palatability are major deciding factors in modern marriages, which are too hard to achieve, even when left alone. And much to the dismay of the parents, the children are not half as desperate as they are for their marriage!

So, parents give up. After five years of unsuccessful bride browsing, they realize they can’t possibly go for a second round. Hence, they wave their green flags to the younger children and declare,

“Find your bride yourself, shonen”

(Let the relatives go to hell)

 

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